Is it all the same?

So, I was listening to All the Same by Sick Puppies, and all of a sudden I just felt so empty.  As far back as I can see myself, the only thing I can ever remember is that I was once very close to somebody who is now just a stranger to me. Sometimes at night, when I am all alone, I am really flooded with all the memories from the past. How much fun we used to have, how many stupid pranks we shared and how many emotions we touched. Isn’t it strange what a lot of memories you can share with somebody? But unfortunately, these memories are the only things that you cannot gift to anyone. For me, it is just so sad to think how much difference one person can make in your life.

People all around us tell us that what is gone is gone and you need to move on, but somewhere along, I find that either people have forgotten what it feels like to be able to have someone in your life who understands you completely or they are too numb to feel anything. It is extraordinary to think how much difference a single person can make in your life.

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Not that we do not want these people back in our lives. It is just that things become so bad, the relations end in such a way that it becomes almost impossible to go back or ask anyone to get back. And, as a lot of you maybe thinking, No, this is not about some boyfriend I am missing right now. This is for every person I have lost in my life. He or she can be a best friend, a good neighbor, an understanding relative, an inspiring teacher, a beloved girlfriend or boyfriend, a divorced spouse, ANYONE! And how much ever we tell the other person that it was his fault or that it was not meant to be, somewhere, deep down we know, it was our fault too. If things were going wrong, couldn’t we take a step back? Couldn’t we back down? Couldn’t have we kept quiet when the other person was shouting on us?

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You know, there are a lot of things, I wish I would not have done or done in some other way. But, no, it had to happen that way only. Sometimes, I blame God, sometimes, blame myself and sometimes, I blame the other person. However, all that time, I only remember that it is not possible to clap with one hand. Every picture has two sides. It is very easy to turn our back on the person we cannot stand. It is very easy to go make new friends or find a new spouse or a new relationship. But, how many of us actually try to bring back the other person or revive the relationship?

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It is not that we do not miss these people. No matter how much successful we are in life or how much money we earn, or how many new friends or relations we develop, one thing that always bothers us is “what if he/she and i were still in touch?”

I wonder what my best friend would be doing right now. I wonder what this guy I had feelings for would be up to? I wonder if that day, I could just curb my anger for that moment and would have kept my calm? It was that spur of moment that ruined a lot of things for me. I know over the years I have grown mature but at what cost? At the cost of abandoning the feelings of my heart? At the cost of being among the crowd, yet feeling lonely? At the cost of being a lonely mature? I guess so….

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So, this is for all those people whom I have hurt intentionally or unintentionally ever in my life. For those whom I let down in some way or the other. I am sorry. I am truly sorry. I never meant to. i never wanted you out of my life. It was just that I did not realize how important you were in my life. It was just that we were so, so, so, so damn close that I felt that I could say or do anything to you and you wouldn’t mind. I just thought just because you were there for me everytime, I had completer authority to treat you in any way I liked. Just know that, I still miss you and even though you may never be there again in my life, but yes, I do cherish every moment I spent with you. Remember that i loved you with all my heart and would give anything to take go back in time and make things right..!!!

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“All The Same”

I dont mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I dont like illusions I cant see
Them clearly
I dont care, no I wouldn’t dare
To fix the twist in you
You’ve shown me eventually what you’ll do
I dont mind
I dont care
As long as you’re here[Chorus]Go ahead and tell me you’ll leave again
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It’s all the sameHours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
Suddenly
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breath you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I amI dont mind, I dont care
As long as you’re here

Go ahead and tell me you’ll leave again
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It’s always the same

Wrong or Right
Black or White
If I close my eyes
Its all the same

In my life
The compromise
I’ll close my eyes
Its all the same

Go ahead say it
You’re leaving
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are now
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It’s all the same

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